I’m going to be very vulnerable and open here… not sure how many others can relate, but too often I dream about work. Gross, I know, I know. But in all seriousness, it doesn’t surprise me, I’m invested, and I think about problems and solutions at all hours. Turning it off is hard.
This week I had actually planned to write about something else, but a dream I had made me switch gears.
In the dream, I had to promote one team member and console another who didn’t get the promotion. The hard part was that in the dream, the person I consoled said things like, “You should have asked me… you should have told me… why didn’t you suggest… if I had known…”
I woke up feeling guilty, like I had failed them somehow. As I got ready for the day, I shook the feeling off, but I also knew I needed to write about it.
Because here’s the truth: the longer I scroll through social media, the more opinions I see about work and I have to say, I don’t agree with most of the popular ones. A lot of them send a message to the next generation that sounds like, “You don’t get paid enough, so don’t carry the team.” Or those “how to professionally say you don’t pay me enough” videos.
Honestly, they make me cringe.
That’s not the lesson I want my kids to learn. What I want them to know is this:
👉 It is not anyone’s job to tell you to try harder.
👉 It’s not someone else’s responsibility to remind you to step up.
👉 And you should never find yourself saying, “You should have told me, you should have suggested…”
As a manager, and someone who has both earned promotions and given promotions, I believe the goal should be this: make it the easiest decision leadership ever makes. Show up so consistently and demonstrate the qualities of the role so clearly that no one can imagine anyone else stepping into it.
Something I often say about very capable people who aren’t reaching their potential is this: I can’t want it more than they do.
As managers, we can offer opportunities, coaching, and mentorship. But there’s one thing we cannot give… initiative.
Yes, there are many qualities that matter in leadership, but initiative is one of the most important.
So here’s my encouragement: do your job well, then stay curious and eager to learn the next thing. Don’t just do it for a promotion, do it for yourself. Every skill you learn, every bit of growth you push yourself toward, stays with you. No paycheck, title, or job change can ever take that away.
This is the work ethic my dad instilled in me, and it’s what I want to pass on to my kids. Whether they decide to go to college or not, I want them to carry this truth with them: never stop learning, never stop growing.
Jobs may come and go… but your growth and your knowledge will always be yours to keep building upon.