I started this blog to share my story, not necessarily for the masses, but for my family and friends. My hope is that by opening up about my life, I might encourage or inspire someone. If even one person finds comfort or strength in my words, then the time and effort here will be well worth it.
Looking back, I know my journey truly began when I was just shy of 16. A few weeks before my birthday, I found out I was pregnant. That moment changed everything. Suddenly, it wasn’t just about me—my son’s future was in my hands. Failure wasn’t an option. I had to grow up overnight and face the world for him.
I braced myself for disappointment, embarrassment, and my parents’ reaction. I didn’t know if they would kick me out or what would happen, but I knew one thing: I had to put one foot in front of the other and take things moment by moment. At the time, I didn’t realize it, but that’s always been my way of handling obstacles just start and keep moving forward.
I can still remember that day so clearly the fear, the tears, the uncertainty in my family’s eyes. We allowed ourselves a day to feel all of it. Then came the phone call that changed everything. My Aunt Nena called to check in. She reminded me that my baby was a blessing, and even though we couldn’t understand the “why” in that moment, she was confident that God had a plan. She asked if I had thought of any names. I hadn’t even known the baby’s gender yet, but I had one name in my heart, Juan, after my grandfather who had recently passed. My aunt asked if I had considered a middle name. When I said no, she suggested Juan Angel. Instantly, I knew that was his name.
At that time, here’s what I did know: I loved my boyfriend, our baby was made with love, and I had plenty of love to give in return. I promised myself my child would never go without. And while I believed in us as a couple, the planner (and worrier) in me also made a backup plan—what if he left? If that happened, I knew I would still move forward. My choices and my actions were the only things I could control.
It wasn’t easy, but every challenge shaped me and fueled my determination.
I’ll never forget my first doctor’s visit. I had never been to a gynecologist, and coming from a family that didn’t talk openly about things like periods, I didn’t know what to expect. When Dr. Vega asked me to undress for the exam, I innocently asked, “Even my underwear and bra?” As she walked out, she turned back and said, “That’s how you got here, isn’t it?”
In that moment, I felt small and ashamed. It’s taken years to work through the weight of that comment. I wasn’t promiscuous; I was a teenager in love. And 20 years later, the father of my children has been my one and only. That day taught me a lesson: people will judge, but their opinions don’t define me. In fact, Dr. Vega became one of the first people I was determined to prove wrong. I refused to be another statistic.
My pregnancy made me tough. I endured the judgment of family, teachers, and classmates. My mom asked me to wear baggy clothes once I started showing, trying to shield us both. Every comment, every stare, it all made me stronger. If I was going to face the world for my child, I needed that strength.
On August 6th, during summer break, my son was born. Two weeks later, I was back in school for my junior year.
I didn’t ask for any accommodations, for the most part no one knew I had a baby unless they knew me while I was pregnant. The only thing I begged for was a parking pass to make childcare easier. One of my best friends stepped in, her older sister, fresh out of high school and still figuring out her own path, agreed to watch my son while I was in class. I will forever be grateful for her. Meanwhile, my boyfriend (now husband) had graduated and was working construction out of state, already stepping up to provide for us.
My days were a blur: dropping off my son, going to school, picking him up, heading to my part-time job as an office admin (thanks to a teacher who saw potential in me), then home to do homework and care for my baby. Sleep was scarce, but somehow, I found the strength to keep going, one day at a time.
If all else remember to take the first step. You can only control your efforts. Life is going to be scary but move one foot in front of the other. All the baby steps will accumulate into good things.