In one of my recent posts I mentioned that I’ve started going to church stress free… and let me tell you, it’s been such a valuable lesson.
For a long time, my Sunday mornings were anything but holy. I wanted my time to connect spiritually… but instead it was being overpowered by frustration and stress. In my perfect world, I pictured my entire family waking up early, having coffee and breakfast together, picking out our Sunday best, and heading to church with bright smiles while worship music played in the car.
Reality… not so much. My husband didn’t want to go and made it clear he was only coming to avoid my angry “you know what” face. The kids would wake up minutes before we had to leave, piling into the bathroom line, and then came the endless arguments about what counted as “church appropriate” clothing. Jeans, sweatpants, and hoodies were not part of my vision.
I tried all the tricks… ironing clothes the night before, laying everything out, planning ahead. But no matter what, it ended with bickering, me sweating, and us rushing in seconds before the service started.
My solution for a while… don’t bother.
But then those “running on empty” symptoms crept in. I needed my spiritual fuel. I needed God. And I realized I had started to resent my husband and kids for making it so difficult for me.
That’s when I had one of those moments of clarity… the kind where you untangle all the thoughts and emotions inside. I realized something simple but life-changing: my relationship with God is mine… only mine. I can’t force anyone else to want what I want. My children and my husband need the best version of me… and for me, that means a well-balanced, God-loving heart.
So here’s what I did… I let go of the picture-perfect family vision. I stopped going to church to impress anyone and started going to fuel my soul. I found a church where no one judges what you wear, where the kids’ program is strong, and yes… they even let you bring your coffee. Score!! That way, when I’m running late, at least my stomach isn’t growling during the sermon.
Now, the night before, I let my family know I’ll be going to church. They’re welcome to join. My only rules? No pajamas, brush your teeth, wash your face. Breakfast bars and coffee are totally allowed in the car. I go to the first service because it’s my priority… before the busyness of the day takes over.
To my surprise, my boys join me almost every time. Unless they have work, sports, or a late night, they’re usually right there with me… and they even get offended if I don’t tell them I’m going. My husband joins once in a while, and when he does, it’s such a gift. I still pray for him often.
I made a choice to lead by example. I want my kids to know where they can turn when they’re running on empty. I want them to go because they need it, not because someone forced them.
The takeaway… start applying this to other parts of life. Figure out your priorities, decide what truly matters, and strip away the fluff. For me, that fluff was the clothes, the “perfect family” image, the idea that it had to look a certain way. Once I removed it, I was left with what really mattered—the lessons my kids and I were learning, together.
And you know what… what they wear doesn’t matter. What matters is the way church is shaping them into stronger Christians… and filling my heart in the process.